finnorange

How important it is to have something to be passionate about?

When I entered college, I was stripped off any plans for my life. I was so disappointed over not being able to go to the school I built my whole 4th year in high school all about. I took all the scholarship examinations I could so I wouldn’t be having a hard time convincing my parents in sending me far away, at least financially. I earned two scholarships: Rufus Rodriguez and Ayala. Despite the begging and the cat-and-mouse chase with my benefactors (Rufus’ wife phoned my mum a couple of times while an Ayala representative actually visited us in our house, both of them asking if I would take their scholarships), my will didn’t prevail. I grabbed the scholarship grant I had in XU instead and took up a course I wasn’t passionate about at all. A month later, I got “promoted”. OSFA referred me to CEPALCO which in turn offered me a rather superior scholarship owing to my GSA and the “rarity” of my course.

I should have been thankful. Yes I am. I get everything for free. What more could I ask for?

And yet, I felt hollow. It felt like I was preparing myself into doing something I wouldn’t want to do for the rest of my life. Many times I felt like leaving everything behind (“leaving”, not “giving up”, because come to think of it, I had already given up from the get-go).

Until lately, I got interested with the complexity of human anatomy. Incidentally, I am taking up Biochemistry this semester, and it well complements my interest in medicine. Then an idea grew. An idea that sends butterflies to my stomach whenever I think of it, the difficulty and thrill I will be encountering make me want to warp the time into the next three years of my life. Now, I see everything in a new perspective. I now feel like I am indeed doing something I should be doing. Everything is finally falling into place.

So, how important it is to have something to be passionate about? The truth is, until you’ve found that thing, you’d be doing everything in your life half-heartedly. Everything else in life becomes pointless and tiring, and later on, you would give up learning and the fun and the thrill you take from it, and instead work your way through life thinking that the money you would earn from that crap job you have would at least make you happy. You would become the most inefficient robot instead.

So I say, go on. Have something you are passionate about. Look at the nooks and crannies of your circumstance. If you can’t find the “it”, get out, and never stop until you are in it. Let your heart burn, and feel good anyway.

CHOS.

Preliminary examinations in three of my four major subjects:

• Organic Chemistry 2
• Biochemistry
• Chemical Instrumentation

Later. This day.

:ohgodwhy:

There are days when you just don’t know how to get on with your life. The ratio of your and their decisions has been so upset you could not recognize what you really want anymore. Chronic indecision. You used to be so sure, so decisive with how you want your life to turn out until someone who thinks she wants to have a better role steps out and handicaps you with her frustrations. These are the days when you would realize your own unhappiness, its nooks and crannies. You become a poison well for everyone who cares about you. Chronic loneliness. You’re trying so hard to be happy, but your condition is chronic. You decide anyway. And you try so, so hard to be happy.